i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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