I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize