What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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