i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
