i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
