I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
