and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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