If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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