i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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