THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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