Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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