Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The ass gains better be worth it
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