doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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