dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
