Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize