Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
should my penis look like a turkey
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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