i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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