I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize