i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
