You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
