U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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