Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
