We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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