In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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