oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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