I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
