I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
