why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
