are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
