am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
