I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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