How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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