I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
