Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
