So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize