my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
