I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
