I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
