from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
