you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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