I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Vodka?
Forever.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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