put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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