Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
two words...techno handjob
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
