you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
