Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
