we were pretty classy up until the second keg
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
