He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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