I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
