If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize