how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
