CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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