a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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