belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
