Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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