I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
