we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
