so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
