Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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