and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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