It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
