Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
