I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
