we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
