They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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