At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This girl is more easily done than said...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
