I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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