Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
