3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize