Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
