would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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