i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
