Just mADE A PArabola og urine
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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