Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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