I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
