Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I still have a little drunk in my system
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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